We talked about the chance that an authentic life was an adventure in self-love and better decisions, and not so much about pushing, pushing, pushing out of fear.

Because maybe the unknown is not a nightmare, but the beginning of a dream you desire.

“Imagine the possibility that something else is working out. What would that feel like?” I asked. Jan smiled. Her shoulders relaxed. Maybe I’m wrong, but I could swear I saw some flashes of light bouncing around her. Or maybe Zoom was on the fritz.

Jan flew to see her sister and hiked into the Grand Canyon. She helped her aging mother get a hearing aid. She still poked around Linked In eyeing jobs. But she also started letting go of painful ways of seeing herself that had made her choose painful strategies and solutions. “I’m listening to my instincts instead of my fears,” she said one day. “Who knew I had instincts?”

We joked together about this weird new way of living that felt good and right even though a part of her mind sometimes put up a stink. “Sometimes I feel like I’m flying,” she said. “Yeah,” I said, “That’s what happens when you open to a flow instead of living on autopilot.”

And then it happened. Another role emerged through an old friend in another company. Her freaking dream role. I am not kidding. We couldn’t have even dreamed something better together if we had done ten vision boards with Oprah herself, meditated with the Dalai Lama, or said a hail Mary with the Pope. I teared up when she told me about it. It was like seeing a healthy child born after a terrible time of miscarriages.

The new job application was not something Jan had to force. This was love. This was perfection. “I don’t have to fit in a box to do this job,” Jan shared. “I AM this job. I AM this role.” And her new company agreed.