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Surrender is the Way to Magic

By Tama Kieves:

When I first started “creating the work I love” I desperately wanted to know how to succeed. But I have come to see that following my heart is a spiritual path. Because an inspired life is no ordinary life. It’s not about following the assumptions of the known world. But how do you open up to something new? How do you surrender to means, direction, and timing that don’t go according to your plan? Especially if you’re a control freak or you’re in fear?

Here’s what you need to know about the practicality of spiritual surrender and believe me this can change everything in your life right now. 

Surrender is a tool. It’s a way to invite a wild light or divine flow into your experience. It’s the premier strategy of asking for help from the universe. Basically, it is giving up your insistence that you know what needs to occur and when. For those of us who are driven and ambitious, this is like learning a new computer operating system. We are upleveling from force to flow.

Surrender Isn’t Defeat

When I really surrender to the flow of life or to a Higher Love, I feel alive, not crushed. I am open. I have finally stopped struggling. I have stopped trying to force something to happen and I have stepped into an alternative reality. Letting go enables me to respond to what is. Surrender helps me to stop fighting my circumstances–and to open new doors of potentiality. And as I let go, I am shown a new way, opportunity, or even the realization of what I wanted.

This is a dazzling process. It’s stepping out of linear time and space and touching the holy. It’s realizing we are connected to a deeper reality far more than we think. It’s the use of all your faculties. For me, it’s when I turn the feeling of terror—into acceptance—and later, love.

You Can’t Surrender Until You’re Ready

You might know it’s a good spiritual idea. You may have read enough books or heard some meditation teacher or 12-step program talk about this grace. But still, you can’t force yourself into letting go of force. And you can’t cheat either, which is a drag. Surrender is a personal process and unraveling, and you get there when you get there.

Usually, I have to knock myself out like a raging bull in a pen. At last, I’m sick of being thwarted. Maybe I’ve tried a thousand things that didn’t work. I’m finally “done.” I’m scared. I’m tired. I just can’t try anymore. There’s usually a last straw. That last straw is the magic catalyst.

So, if you’re in the land of frustration right now, just know you’re close to the door. When you “give up” trying to get your way, your own brilliant creative love will guide you. You are not being deprived. You are expanding.

Surrender Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Do Anything

Surrender means you are open to possibilities. When you let go of trying to control everything, new energy may walk through your door wearing a sombrero. That’s when it’s time to act. Follow the sparkles. Chase the heat. Or be with the gauntlet that has been thrown down. If your soul has started talking to you, heed the instruction.

Surrender is attunement, not abdication. It’s not about giving up your will to a big white cloud and then zoning out. We are co-creating with Brilliant Energy. Surrender asks us to listen to ourselves at a deeper level. We let go of our ego, the part of us that insists there’s only one result that will satisfy us. Surrender asks us to pay attention to other information and direction.

When you are nudged from within, you will have the requisite energy to act. This is not a docile process. This is the fuel of the guided.

Surrender is a Relationship with Love

Wouldn’t it be amazing to discover that you’re not alone and that you don’t have to control everything for great things to happen? Big sigh, please. Surrender is stepping into the unseen flow and frequency of life. There is an intelligence, sequencing, and mastery. Sometimes we are being asked to heal a pain within us, rather than mask it with an external circumstance. For me, surrender has been turning my need for control into my greater need to trust in the goodness of life.

The wisdom path of A Course in Miracles says, “If you are trusting in your own strength, you have every reason to be apprehensive, anxious and fearful.” But it reminds us that we are not alone and that the Voice of love or our inner teacher guides us in every moment.

Can you remember a time in your life when things just fell into place? Or you met the right person? Or you had the feeling, “I could never have made this happen on my own”? Life is incredible. Yet when we are in fear and grasping nothing seems to work.

Surrender May Be Hard to Talk About

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell certain people in your life what you’re up to. I’m surrendering. I’m giving up my will to what I don’t understand. It’s cool. No, I’m not on drugs, though that might be next if this doesn’t pan out for me. I’m having a spiritual initiation you might want to say, but some of your friends will turn white or squirm, then quickly ask you if you caught the last episode of Call the Midwife. Surrender is a private and mysterious affair. It’s also hard as hell, so be gentle with yourself.

For many of us, things fall apart before we surrender. It’s a sacred time of vulnerability. You deserve support, but please choose with care. You may need new ears or eyes on your life. Or you may need to keep this to yourself like a precious pact.

Do Try this At Home:

So, think about that “problem” you’ve been having. Where have you been impatient? Where do you keep trying to make something very specific happen or not happen? Where are you in fear about this more than love?

Consider surrender. Just for a moment or a lifetime, try this on: I don’t know what needs to happen here. I may not know what would really make me happy. I surrender to the power of Love and ask to be guided. I may not even be sure of what I believe in. But I’m willing to encounter my truth. Breathe in and out. And step into the wild country of being guided into your true, astonishing life.


Here's my Coaching Practice for you this month:

What “problem” might you surrender? Where might you like to experience a shift? Can you try releasing your expectations or insistence for how things should go? How can you practice this month?

(Quick… email us and tell me your first thoughts or intentions for yourself this month. Sharing IS strengthening! I will hold it with you in love.)

With love and fierce support,

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© 2023 Tama Kieves. All rights reserved. 
TAMA: Honors graduate of Harvard Law School turned mojo career catalyst.
Best-selling author of 
This Time I Dance!: Creating the Work You LoveInspired & Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work!A Year Without Fear: 365 Days of Magnificence, and also Thriving Through Uncertainty.

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